Another financial adjustment that takes place for many mid-life adults is the planning for college and setting aside the necessary funds for their children. In response to these growing financial needs and greater free time due to their children getting older, many middle aged women enter or re-enter the workforce. Consequently this tends to be a time of career and financial readjustment and planning for both men and women.

Some families are feeling the need for financial adjustment with aging parents. Some parents can no longer maintain a home of their own and other arrangements need to be made.

Are you thinking about retirement? Are those thoughts filled with visions of sailing, starting your own business, or traveling the world? Or does your mind just go blank? You don’t have any idea what you would like to do. Either way, you need a plan.

Before you get tied to a vision of your future, you need to assess where you are today. A combination of increased longevity and decreased savings is leading to a retirement crisis. Many people are spending longer in retirement than in their working years. Many Americans are living longer in retirement than their ancestors. To complicate this situation, many baby boomers have not saved enough for their golden years.

Why not start your retirement preparations today?

What is Clinical Depression?

Clinical depression can affect your body, mood, thoughts, and behavior. It can change your eating habits, how you feel and think about things, your ability to work and study, and how you interact with people.

Clinical depression is not a passing mood, a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed away. Clinically depressed people cannot “pull themselves together” and get better.

Depression can be successfully treated by a mental health professional or certain health care providers. With the right treatment, 80 percent of those who seek help get better. And many people begin to feel better in just a few weeks.

Types of Depressive Illness

Depressive illnesses come in different forms. The following are general descriptions of the three most prevalent, though for an individual, the number, severity, and duration of symptoms will vary.

Major depression is manifested by a combination of symptoms that interfere with your ability to work, sleep, eat, and enjoy once pleasurable activities. These impairing episodes of depression can occur once, twice, or several times in a lifetime.

Symptoms of Major Depression

• Sadness, anxiety, or “empty” feelings
• Decreased energy, fatigue, being “slowed down”
• Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities
• Sleep disturbances (insomnia, oversleeping, or waking much earlier than usual)
• Appetite and weight changes (either loss or gain)
• Feelings of hopelessness, guilt, and worthlessness
• Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
• Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or remembering
• Irritability or excessive crying
• Chronic aches and pains not explained by another physical condition

A less intense type of depression, dysthymia, involves long-term, chronic symptoms that are less severe, but keep you from functioning at your full ability and from feeling well.

In bipolar illness (also known as manic-depressive illness), cycles of depression alternate with cycles of elation and increased activity, known as mania.

How to Recognize Depression

The first step in defeating depression is recognizing it. It’s normal to have some signs of depression some of the time. But five or more symptoms for two weeks or longer, or noticeable changes in usual functioning, are all factors that should be evaluated by a health or mental health professional. And remember, people who are depressed may not be thinking clearly and may need help to get help.

I kept asking myself, “How could I be depressed? I’d had a normal family life, had been getting good grades, and hadn’t experienced any big trauma – where did my depression come from?” – John

What Causes Depression?

The causes of depression are complex. Very often a combination of genetic, psychological and environmental factors is involved in the onset of clinical depression. At times, however, depression occurs for no apparent reason. Regardless of the cause, depression is almost always treatable.

Family History - Depression often runs in families, which usually means that some, but not all, family members have a tendency to develop the illness. On the other hand, sometimes people who have no family history also develop depression.

Stress - Psychological and environmental stressors can contribute to a depressive episode, though individuals react differently to life events and experiences.

In coping with stress, some people find writing in a journal, exercising, or talking with friends helpful. But in clinical depression you need some form of treatment (usually medication and short-term psychotherapy) to start feeling better soon.

I had a period of nearly constant turmoil when I wanted to “come out” to my friends about being gay but didn’t want to be treated like an outsider. A good friend made jokes about homosexuals and I was afraid of what he’d say about me. That stress played a big part in my becoming depressed. - Josh

My family wanted me home every other weekend and I didn’t fit in there anymore. I’d argue constantly with my father, who still treated me like a child. My sister thought I was ‘uppity.’ Everyone was miserable and I felt guilty. – Kim

College and Stress

Common stressors in college life include:

• Greater academic demands
• Being on your own in a new environment
• Changes in family relations
• Financial responsibilities
• Changes in your social life
• Exposure to new people, ideas, and temptations
• Awareness of your sexual identity and orientation
• Preparing for life after graduation

Psychological make-up can also play a role in vulnerability to depression. People who have low self-esteem, who consistently view themselves and the world with pessimism, or are readily overwhelmed by stress may be especially prone to depression.

For Marta, her feelings of being “not good enough” were worsened by the stress of the academic demands of college and the emotional conflict caused by her parents’ divorce, which combined to trigger her episode of major depression.

Bipolar Disorder (Manic Depression)

As mentioned earlier, bipolar disorder is a type of depressive illness that involves mood swings that go from periods of depression to periods of being overly “up” and irritable. Sometimes the mood swings are dramatic or rapid, but most often they occur gradually, over several weeks. The “up” or manic phase can include increased energy and activity, insomnia, grandiose notions and impulsive or reckless behavior, including sexual promiscuity.

Medication usually is effective in controlling manic symptoms and preventing the recurrence of both manic and depressive episodes.

During a manic episode, I stayed awake for five days straight, but had a lot of energy. I spent my tuition on a major shopping spree and long distance phone calls. I also had sex with several guys that I hardly knew. At the time, I felt so great that I couldn’t see that there were serious problems with what I was doing. – Teresa

Suicide

Thoughts of death or suicide are usually signs of severe depression. “If you’re feeling like you can’t cope anymore, or that life isn’t worth living, get help,” advised Darrel, a student who tried to kill himself during his freshman year. “Talking to a professional can get you past those intense feelings and save your life.”

Suicidal feelings, thoughts, impulses, or behaviors always should be taken seriously. If you are thinking about hurting or killing yourself, SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY. Contact someone you trust to help you: a good friend, academic or resident advisor, or:

• Staff at the student health or counseling center
• A professor, coach, or advisor
• A local suicide or emergency hotline (get the phone number from the information operator or directory)
• A hospital emergency room
• Call 911

If someone you know has thoughts about suicide, the best thing to do is help him or her get professional help.

“I’m back from the edge,” Darrel continued. “Now that I’ve gotten some treatment, I know how to keep from being out there again.”

Depression and Alcohol and Other Drugs

A lot of depressed people, especially teenagers, also have problems with alcohol or other drugs. (Alcohol is a drug, too.) Sometimes the depression comes first and people try drugs as a way to escape it. (In the long run, drugs or alcohol just make things worse!) Other times, the alcohol or other drug use comes first, and depression is caused by:

• the drug itself, or
• withdrawal from it, or
• the problems that substance use causes.

And sometimes you can’t tell which came first… the important point is that when you have both of these problems, the sooner you get treatment, the better.

Getting Help – Treatment Works

If you think you might be depressed, discuss this with a qualified health care or mental health professional who can evaluate your concerns. Bring along an understanding friend for support if you are hesitant or anxious about the appointment.

Several effective treatments for depression are available and can provide relief from symptoms in just a few weeks. The most commonly used treatments are psychotherapy, antidepressant medication, or a combination of the two. Which is the best treatment for an individual depends on the nature and severity of the depression.

Sharing your preferences and concerns with your treatment provider helps determine the course of treatment. Certain types of psychotherapy, particularly cognitive behavioral therapy, can help resolve the psychological or interpersonal problems that contribute to, or result from, the illness. Antidepressant medications relieve the physical and mood symptoms of depression and are not habit-forming. In severe depression, medication is usually required.

Individuals respond differently to treatment. If you don’t start feeling better after several weeks, talk to the professional you are seeing about trying other treatments or getting a second opinion.

Making a Decision

Don’t let fear of what others might say or think stop you from doing what’s best for you. Parents and friends may understand more than you think they might, and they certainly want you to feel better.

Taking the First Step

I knew I was depressed but thought I could pull out of it by myself. Unfortunately, friends reinforced this attitude by telling me to just toughen up. When that didn’t work, I felt even worse because I had ‘failed’ again. When a friend suggested I talk to his counselor, I resisted at first. In my mind, professional help was for weak, messed up people. But then, I hit a bottom so low that I was willing to try anything. – John

I decided to try treatment when my friends got fed up with me. They didn’t want to talk about my problems any more, but my problems were the major focus of my life. I needed someone who could help me understand what was happening to me. I’d seen ads for the counseling center and decided to give it a try. - Kim

When I began considering suicide, I knew I needed serious help. My resident advisor helped me call a local hotline where I got some good referrals. It was just a phone call, but it was the starting point that got me to the professional help I needed. – Leah

Help Yourself: Be an Informed Consumer

Don’t give in to negative thinking. Depression can make you feel exhausted, worthless, helpless and hopeless, making some people want to give up. Remember, these negative views are part of the depression, and will fade as treatment takes effect.

Take an active role in getting better. Make the most of the help available by being actively involved in your treatment and by working with a qualified therapist or doctor. Once in treatment, don’t hesitate to ask questions in order to understand your illness and the way treatment works. And, if you don’t start feeling better in a few weeks, speak with the professional you are seeing about new approaches.

Be good to yourself while you‘re getting well. Along with professional help, there are some other simple things you can do to help yourself get better, for example: participating in a support group, spending time with other people, or taking part in activities, exercise, or hobbies. Just don’t overdo it and don’t set big goals for yourself. The health care professional you are seeing may suggest useful books to read and other self-help strategies.

Helping a Depressed Friend

The best thing you can do for a depressed friend is to help him or her get treatment. This may involve encouraging the person to seek professional help or to stay in treatment once it is begun. The next best thing is to offer emotional support. This involves understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement. Engage the depressed person in conversation or activities and be gently insistent if you meet with resistance. Remind that person that with time and help, he or she will feel better.

Helpful Resources

The professionals at a student health center or counseling service, the Resident Advisor in your dorm, your family health care provider, and your clergy can be helpful resources for getting treatment. You also might contact any of the following organizations in your area for mental health services or referrals:

• A community mental health agency
• A hospital psychiatric outpatient department or clinic
• A private or nonprofit counseling center
• Your local Mental Health Association

The telephone directory or information operator at your school or in your community, or a local hotline, should have telephone numbers for these and other mental health services.

Finding Affordable Treatment

People are sometimes reluctant to seek help because they are concerned about the cost of treatment. Services at college counseling centers are often low-cost or free. Also city or county mental health services are often offered on a “sliding scale” (the fee is based on your financial resources). Check out any health insurance you may have and see if it pays for private mental health services.

Source: The National Institute of Mental Health

Any of the following activities will help you feel better about yourself and reinforce your self-esteem over the long term. Read through them. Do those that seem most comfortable to you. You may want to do some of the other activities at another time. You may find it helpful to repeat some of these activities again and again.

Make affirming lists
Making lists, rereading them often, and rewriting them from time to time will help you to feel better about yourself. If you have a journal, you can write your lists there. If you don’t, any piece of paper will do.

Make a list of:

• at least five of your strengths, for example, persistence, courage, friendliness, creativity
• at least five things you admire about yourself, for example the way you have raised your children, your good relationship with your brother, or your spirituality
• the five greatest achievements in your life so far, like recovering from a serious illness, graduating from high school, or learning to use a computer
• at least 20 accomplishments-they can be as simple as learning to tie your shoes, to getting an advanced college degree
• 10 ways you can “treat” or reward yourself that don’t include food and that don’t cost anything, such as walking in woods, window-shopping, watching children playing on a playground, gazing at a baby’s face or at a beautiful flower, or chatting with a friend
• 10 things you can do to make yourself laugh
• 10 things you could do to help someone else
• 10 things that you do that make you feel good about yourself

Reinforcing a positive self image
To do this exercise you will need a piece of paper, a pencil or pen, and a timer or clock. Any kind of paper will do, but if you have paper and pen you really like, that will be even better.

Set a timer for 10 minutes or note the time on your watch or a clock. Write your name across the top of the paper. Then write everything positive and good you can think of about yourself. Include special attributes, talents, and achievements. You can use single words or sentences, whichever you prefer. You can write the same things over and over if you want to emphasize them. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. Your ideas don’t have to be organized. Write down whatever comes to mind. You are the only one who will see this paper. Avoid making any negative statements or using any negative words only positive ones. When the 10 minutes are up, read the paper over to yourself. You may feel sad when you read it over because it is a new, different, and positive way of thinking about yourself a way that contradicts some of the negative thoughts you may have had about yourself. Those feelings will diminish as your reread this paper. Read the paper over again several times. Put it in a convenient place your pocket, purse, wallet, or the table beside your bed. Read it over to yourself at least several times a day to keep reminding yourself of how great you are! Find a private space and read it aloud. If you can, read it to a good friend or family member who is supportive.

Developing Positive Affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements that you can make about yourself that make you feel better about yourself. They describe ways you would like to feel about yourself all the time. They may not, however, describe how you feel about yourself right now. The following examples of affirmations will help you in making your own list of affirmations

• I feel good about myself
• I take good care of myself. I eat right, get plenty of exercise, do things I enjoy, get good health care, and attend to my personal hygiene needs
• I spend my time with people who are nice to me and make me feel good about myself
• I am a good person
• I deserve to be alive
• Many people like me

Make a list of your own affirmations. Keep this list in a handy place, like your pocket or purse. You may want to make copies of your list so you can have them in several different places of easy access. Read the affirmations over and over to yourself aloud whenever you can. Share them with others when you feel like it. Write them down from time to time. As you do this, the affirmations tend to gradually become true for you.

You gradually come to feel better and better about yourself.

Your personal “celebratory scrapbook” and place to honor yourself – Develop a scrapbook that celebrates you and the wonderful person you are. Include pictures of yourself at different ages, writings you enjoy, mementos of things you have done and places you have been, cards you have received, etc. Or set up a place in your home that celebrates “you.” It could be on a bureau, shelf, or table. Decorate the space with objects that remind you of the special person you are. If you don’t have a private space that you can leave set up, put the objects in a special bag, box, or your purse and set them up in the space whenever you do this work. Take them out and look at them whenever you need to bolster your self-esteem.

Appreciation exercise – At the top of a sheet of paper write “I like _____ (your name) because:” Have friends, acquaintances, family members, etc., write an appreciative statement about you on it. When you read it, don’t deny it OR don’t argue with what has been written, just accept it! Read this paper over and over. Keep it in a place where you will see it often.

Self-esteem calendar – Get a calendar with large blank spaces for each day. Schedule into each day some small thing you would enjoy doing, such as “go into a flower shop and smell the flowers,” “call my sister,” “draw a sketch of my cat,” “buy a new CD,” “tell my daughter I love her,” “bake brownies,” “lie in the sun for 20 minutes,” “wear my favorite scent,” etc. Now make a commitment to check your “enjoy life” calendar every day and do whatever you have scheduled for yourself.

Mutual complimenting exercise – Get together for 10 minutes with a person you like and trust. Set a timer for five minutes or note the time on a watch or clock. One of you begins by complimenting the other person saying everything positive about the other person for the first five minutes. Then the other person does the same thing to that person for the next five minutes. Notice how you feel about yourself before and after this exercise. Repeat it often.

Self-esteem resources – Go to your library. Look up books on self-esteem. Read one or several of them. Try some of the suggested activities.

Source: National Mental Health Information Center

…And Why They’re Lame

Think college is for other kids, and not for you? Wrong. Don’t give up on applying to college before you take a good look at it.

1. I can’t go to college—nobody in my family has ever gone.

In every family, someone has to be first. Why not you? True, being first can be hard. For instance, you may have to explain to the family why college is important to you. On the other hand, being first is likely to be a source of pride, for you and for your family.

2. I’ve been in school for 12 years. That’s enough! I just want a good job.

Give college a chance. It’s not like high school or junior high. For one thing, in college you pick a major—a subject area that you want to learn about. As for that good job—the best jobs and the best salaries go to college grads.

3. I can’t go to college because I can’t afford it.

Most students get financial aid to help pay for college, and most aid is based on need. This means that the less money you have, the more aid you might get.

4. I can’t go because I don’t know how to apply or where I want to go.

Tell your high school counselors you want to go to college fairs, where colleges introduce themselves to students. Ask them how to write to schools for information. Try to visit colleges that interest you. Keep at it. After a while, you’ll get a feel for differences among colleges, and start to know what you want.

5. I can’t go to college—I don’t know what I want to do with my life.

Join the crowd. Thousands of college freshmen haven’t decided on a major or on a career. That’s how college helps. It exposes you to all sorts of subjects you’ve never heard of before. College is a great place to learn more about careers you’ll love for life.

6. I can’t go to college, because I just won’t fit in.

Not so. Most colleges have students from many backgrounds. Homesick? Need a hand? Look for people with your interests or your background in the African-American club, on the soccer field, or in a Korean study group. Remember, college is a great place to meet new kinds of people with different lifestyles. And the more people you understand and feel comfortable with, the better prepared you’ll be for the world after college.

7. College is too hard for me.

Not you, too! Most students worry about being good enough for college, so you’re not alone. One idea: In high school, don’t just study—learn how to study. Most good students have strategies for studying. Once you learn how to study, chances are you’ll do fine. Still need help? Professors are really helpful, and so are tutors.

In the course of a busy day, you may write a check at the grocery store, charge tickets to a ball game, rent a car, mail your tax returns, change service providers for your cell phone, or apply for a credit card. In each transaction, you reveal bits of personal information, like your bank and credit card account numbers; your income; your Social Security number (SSN); or your name, address, and phone numbers a goldmine of information for an identity thief. Once a thief has that information, it can be used without your knowledge to commit fraud or theft.

Identity theft is a serious crime. People whose identities have been stolen can spend time and money cleaning up the mess the thieves have made of their good name and credit record. They may lose out on job opportunities, and loans for education, housing, or cars. They may even get arrested for crimes they didn’t commit.

Can you prevent an identity theft? As with any crime, you cannot completely control whether you will become a victim. But according to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), the nations consumer protection agency, you can minimize your risk by managing your personal information cautiously.

How Identity Theft Occurs

Skilled identity thieves use a variety of ways to gain access to your personal information. For example, they may get information from businesses or other institutions by stealing it while they’re on the job; bribing an employee who has access to these records; hacking these records; and conning information out of employees. Or:

• they may steal your wallet or purse.
• they may steal your personal information through email or the phone by saying they’re from a legitimate company and claiming that you have a problem with your account. This practice is known as phishing online, or pretexting by phone.
• they may steal your credit or debit card numbers by capturing the information in a data storage device in a practice known as skimming. They may swipe your card for an actual purchase, or attach a device to an ATM machine where they may enter or swipe your card.
• they may get your credit reports by abusing the authorized access that was granted to their employer, or by posing as a landlord, employer, or someone else who may have a legal right to your report.
• they may rummage through your trash, the trash of businesses, or public trash dumps in a practice known as dumpster diving.
• they may steal personal information they find in your home.
• they may steal your mail, including bank and credit card statements, credit card offers, new checks, and tax information.
• they may complete a change of address form to divert your mail to another location.

Once identity thieves have your personal information, they may use it to commit fraud or theft. For example:

• they may call your credit card issuer to change the billing address on your account. The imposter then runs up charges on your account. Because the bills are being sent to a different address, it may be some time before you realize there’s a problem.
• they may open new credit card accounts in your name. When they use the credit cards and dont pay the bills, the delinquent accounts are reported on your credit report.
• they may establish phone or wireless service in your name.
• they may open a bank account in your name and write bad checks on the account.
• they may counterfeit checks or credit or debit cards, or authorize electronic transfers in your name, and drain your bank account.
• they may file for bankruptcy under your name to avoid paying debts theyve incurred under your name, or to avoid eviction.
• they may buy a car by taking out an auto loan in your name.
• they may get identification such as a driver’s license issued with their picture, in your name.
• they may get a job or file fraudulent tax returns in your name.
• they may give your name to the police during an arrest. If they don’t show up for the court date, a warrant for arrest is issued in your name.

How Can You Tell If Youre a Victim of Identity Theft?

If an identity thief is opening new credit accounts in your name, these accounts are likely to show up on your credit report. You can find out by ordering a copy of your credit report from the three nationwide consumer-reporting companies. If you have lost any personal information or if it has been stolen you may want to check all your reports more frequently for the first year.

Monitor the balances of your financial accounts. Look for unexplained charges or withdrawals. Other indications of identity theft can be:

• failing to receive bills or other mail. This could mean an identity thief has submitted a change of address.
• receiving credit cards for which you did not apply.
• denial of credit for no apparent reason.
• receiving calls from debt collectors or companies about merchandise or services you didnt buy.

Getting Your Credit Report

Free Annual Credit Reports

An amendment to the federal Fair Credit Reporting Act requires each of the major nationwide consumer reporting companies to provide you with a free copy of your credit report, at your request, once every 12 months.

Free reports have been phased in during a nine-month period, starting with states in the West and ending with states in the East. Beginning September 1, 2005, free reports will be accessible to all Americans, regardless of where they live.

To order your free annual report from one or all the national consumer reporting companies, visit: www.annualcreditreport.com; call toll-free: 1-877-322-8228; or complete the Annual Credit Report Request Form and mail it to: Annual Credit Report Request Service, P.O. Box 105281, Atlanta, GA 30348-5281. You can print the form from ftc.gov/credit. Do not contact the three nationwide consumer reporting companies individually; they provide free annual credit reports only through www.annualcreditreport.com, 1-877-322-8228, and Annual Credit Report Request Service, P.O. Box 105281, Atlanta, GA 30348-5281.

Other Rights to Free Reports

Under federal law, you’re also entitled to a free report if a company takes adverse action against you, such as denying your application for credit, insurance or employment, and you request your report within 60 days of receiving notice of the action. The notice will give you the name, address, and phone number of the consumer reporting company that supplied the information about you. You’re also entitled to one free report a year if you’re unemployed and plan to look for a job within 60 days; if you’re on welfare; or if your report is inaccurate because of fraud. Otherwise, a consumer reporting company may charge you up to $9.50 for additional copies of your report.

Under state law, consumers in Colorado, Georgia, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and Vermont already have free access to their credit reports.

If you ask, only the last four digits of your Social Security number will appear on your credit reports.

Budgeting is one of the hardest of personal disciplines to master, but it is an essential tool for good financial health.

The first step in preparing your budget is to keep a list of everyday expenses, as well as debts such as loans and credit cards for three months. You can get this information from checking account registers, money order receipts, and credit card billing summaries. Review your list to insure you have included expenses for:

• “walking around money” for newspapers, haircuts, dry cleaning, etc.
• transportation expenses for gasoline, oil changes, car inspection, parking fees, tolls, and bus or train fares
• gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays
• expenses that are due quarterly or annually

From this list, calculate the average amount of you total monthly expenses and debts. Next, calculate the average amount of your total income per month. By starting this way, you will be able to see if you have enough income to cover your expenses. If you do not, you must make some hard decisions such as cutting back on your spending or getting an additional job. Most money management professionals agree that once the monthly payments on unsecured obligations exceed 20% of net monthly income, there is a very high probability of financial danger.

If you have outstanding loans, use a debt roll-up plan to pay them off. Roll-up plans focus on paying off loans and credit cards in a systematic manner by paying off one loan or credit card at a time then adding that payment amount to the next loan payment on the list or schedule until all loans are repaid. For example, if you owe two $25 payments on your ABC card with a balance of $50, you make two payments. Then, in the third month, add the $25 you were paying on your ABC card to your payment on the next loan you have scheduled to pay off in addition to the minimum payment you were already making. Using this method will dramatically reduce the time it takes to repay your loans. Your priorities will determine your debt roll-up schedule. Some people want to pay off the highest interest rate loans first while others prefer to pay off the lowest balance loans first because it gives a feeling of accomplishment.

Establish an emergency account equal to three to six months of expenses. Plan to eventually put between 5% to 10% of each paycheck into a separate savings account that can be used for unexpected items and emergencies. As soon as possible put aside $25 to $50 per month if you do not have savings to use in an emergency. Without the emergency account, you will constantly get caught short when an unplanned expense arises resulting in the need to use your credit cards. You can only break the debt cycle by putting money in a separate account for emergency use.

Experts agree that spending plans should be flexible and fair, not restraining and unrealistic. Putting your plan down in writing and reviewing it monthly are essential for success. Each month, compare your actual spending to your budget. Are you off budget because of a forgotten item or did you spend money on an unplanned expense? Being off budget is not cause for throwing the plan away. The goal is to spend less than you earn each month, to reduce your debt as quickly as possible, and to set aside savings for the future.