While quality of time is important, quantity of time is just as critical to raising a family.

Now that there’s a baby, you’re no longer a couple; you’re a family! But competing schedules and obligations can make acting like a family a little difficult. These days, more and more dads are finding ways to shoulder the burdens — and joys — of parenthood. And you might not realize it, but a slight change in Dad’s work schedule can free up a lot of time to spend with the kids.

Many fathers opt for different lifestyles and alternative work schedules to spend more time with their families or reduce the amount of time their kids spend in daycare. Some men work early or late shifts, or work part time, and some have even become stay-at-home dads while Mom works. Here are some creative ways fathers are creating more family time.

The Compressed Work Week

Here’s an idea: Work more hours per day, and fewer days per week. One way to go about this is to work 40 hours in four days instead of five by working four 10-hour days. Another common schedule is working nine hours a day and having a day off every other week.

When our son Jordan was small, my husband, John, worked four 10-hour days a week, with Fridays off. I worked a four-day work week part time with Mondays off. That way, Jordan was in daycare only three days a week. John’s schedule is important to him. He has had his Fridays off for the last five years. He says, “I like having my Fridays off with the kids. It is a special bonding time with them.”

Alternative Shift Start Times

On this schedule, parents start work at different hours to minimize the amount of time the children are away from home. For example, one parent could start work at 6:00 a.m. and one at 9:00 a.m. The children are dropped off at the daycare by the parent who leaves later, and picked up by the parent who gets off work earlier. Juggle this the right way, and daycare is no longer a necessity.

Pat Ryan works from 7:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. His wife, Terri, leaves for work at 5:00 p.m. Although that doesn’t leave much time for the two of them during the week, Pat enjoys evenings with his sons Robby, 3, and Christopher, 2. Pat also reports another advantage: “When both parents are together, the kids tend to play us off each other. They are much better behaved when there is only one parent here.”

Part Time

If a father works less than 40 hours a week, the family might feel a little pinch in the pocketbook. But some families can handle it by making a conscious choice to live more simply. Many health-care positions are becoming part-time, giving workers more days off. Some positions are 24 hours a week (two 12-hour shifts), or 36 hours a week (three 12-hour shifts). While 12 hours is a long day, think of the flip-side: You’ll have four or five days off each week.

Working At Home

A telecommuter works at home on his own computer, connected to the company’s computer by modem. But this melds the workplace and home, and telecommuting might leave you just as unavailable to the kids as if you were working at the office. In fact, many telecommuters find that they need a babysitter in the home. There are advantages: being available to eat lunch with the children, saving time and saving money commuting to work. It may be less stressful than work at an office, and every day becomes casual day!

Become a Stay-at-Home Dad

This option might be more realistic than it seems. If you’re a father considering staying at home, examine your earning power as compared to your partner’s. Consider work attire (no need for power suits), as well as commuting costs (gas, wear-and-tear of the car, depreciation, extra insurance costs), daycare costs, and all the other expenses of working. Don’t forget to factor in stress! Many men find they are happier staying at home with their children. If you’re not sure, try it out by taking personal leave. Fathers may be guaranteed up to three months of personal leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act if their child is under a year old, newly adopted, or recently placed with the family as a foster child. (To see if you qualify or if the law applies to your company, check with your employer’s human resources department.)

When either parent switches to home after having a career, the transition can be tough. With paid employment, people tend to have confidence, structure and regular positive feedback from coworkers and management. It might be hard to function in an environment with little structure and a lack of positive feedback. Just transition slowly, and find support or playgroups that help you understand you’re not alone.

Dan Sherman is now a stay-at-home dad. As a painter, he often found work hard to come by, or requiring a long commute to the job site. Most of the time, his children were either in daycare or after-school care. Dan’s wife, Becki, had healthcare benefits, and her work as a computer programmer/analyst provided enough money for the family. So Dan decided to stay home with their two sons: Ben, 8, and Sammy, 4. One day a week, Sammy goes to a Montessori preschool. That gives Dan a needed break, and Sammy has a chance to interact with children his own age. The preschool also provides Dan with educational materials and helps in his new role as full-time father. Dan is enjoying being closer to the boys, and has started pursuing new interests, such as gourmet cooking.

If None of These Are Options

Perhaps your work schedule is too demanding, or your company is just too inflexible to consider giving you a break. Even if none of the above options will work, you can still find ways to make time for your family. Some ideas: Instead of using weekends as couch time, go for walks together. Go to a playground (indoor or outdoor) or to the park. Going out to dinner (or for dessert!) can also get the family together. A picnic doesn’t have to be at a park; it can be a fun change to picnic in the backyard or even in the living room (if the TV is off). Pursue a common interest or hobby with your family, such as bicycling, skiing or stamp collecting. Set aside time each weekend for a special family activity that gets everyone involved.

While quality of time is important, quantity of time is just as critical to raising a family. The challenge for parents is to find the best possible mix between quality and quantity, and to make choices that benefit moms, dads and the children.

Adapted from: Family Health Alliance

You may find it very helpful to talk to a lactation consultant to plan for your return to work. A breast pump and a supportive caregiver are essential!

Breast Pumps

Your best choice may be a fully automatic, double-pumping breast pump. Look for a pump which is portable and easily cleaned. Some women find pumps with intermittent pressure are more comfortable to use. Start using your breast pump at least two weeks before returning to work. The milk can be frozen for later use. Label it by date frozen so that you always use the older milk first. Human milk can be stored:

• at room temperature (66-72F, 19-22C) for up to 10 hours
• in a refrigerator (32-39F, 0-4C) for up to 8 days
• in a freezer compartment with a separate door (variable temperature due to the door opening frequently) for up to 3 to 4 months.
• in a separate deep freeze (0F, -19C) for up to 6 months or longer.

If milk has been frozen and thawed, it can be refrigerated for up to 24 hours for later use. It should not be refrozen. It is best to discard any milk that is left in the bottle after a feeding. Expressed milk can be kept in a common refrigerator at your workplace or in a day care center. You can assure co-workers that the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration agree that human milk is not among the body fluids that require special handling or storage in a separate container. If you don’t have access to a refrigerator, plan to bring a small cooler with a refreezable ice pack to chill the expressed milk.

Preparing to Return to Work

In the weeks prior to returning to work it is essential to acclimate your baby to being fed by someone other than mom. If the baby resists the bottle, have mom switch on and off with the breast until he more willingly accepts it; then move on to having the baby fed by dad, a grandparent, or a friend. If resistance is met, it will help to have dad, or whoever is doing the feeding, drape a scarf or blouse (even a burp cloth) which mom has recently worn over his shoulder. The baby will be comforted by finding his mothers scent still nearby. With patience and adequate practice the baby should be willing to accept a bottle from a caregiver when mom returns to work.

Your Wardrobe

Wear skirts or blouses that button in the front or pull up easily. Avoid solid colors which will show breast milk stains; patterned blouses can best hide leaking and the bulge of breast pads. Wear a nursing bra and keep a spare blouse at work as a backup. Carry plenty of nursing pads and breast shields with you. Disposable wipes and paper towels will make for easier cleanup.

Where to Pump

If you are fortunate, your workplace may provide a lactation room. If not, discuss with your supervisor the possibility of setting aside a small conference room or unused office for a half hour or so to allow you to pump in privacy. Your supervisor will most likely be your ally if you can assure her that you will be working even while pumping. Plan your activities so that you can read or do paperwork during that time! Hopefully the ladies room need be used only as a last resort. Letting your employer know of your pumping needs in advance will give you a chance to develop a plan that will work for both of you. Educating your employer about the important health choice you have made and the relatively minor physical accommodations required in the workplace will encourage cooperation. Of course, there are significant employer advantages to continuing breastfeeding once you are back to work. Research shows that breastfed babies are half as likely to get sick in the first year of life as those receiving formula. If your baby doesn’t get sick as often, you will miss less time from work, an obvious advantage.

Schedules

It will be important to breast-feed your baby before you leave home. If at all possible, it will be helpful to go to your baby during your lunch break in order to breast-feed. You will want to nurse your baby as soon as you get home and in the evening. Even if your caregiver needs to bottle feed two or three times while you are at work, pumping should allow you to maintain your supply of breast milk.

Although there will be initial adaptations for everyone, perseverance in adjusting to breast-feeding while back in the workforce will pay rich dividends for mom, baby, and the rest of the family as well as the employer.

• State the exact nature of the problem.
• Determine what needs to happen during the session for it to be successful.
• Set a time limit and allow 5 minutes for an introduction and 10 minutes for a summary.
• Ask each participant to present at least 2 ideas.
• Ban criticism of ideas.
• Encourage free-wheeling and combining or improving on ideas.
• Assign people to follow up on their ideas if necessary.
• Announce how the results of the brainstorming session will be used.
• Communicate the results of the session to others if appropriate.

It’s important to remember that the end results of a brainstorming session should be a large quantity of diverse ideas. No one person should be allowed to dominate the meeting. By encouraging everyone to participate, you will likely come up with new and better solutions to your companys’ challenges.

The Comfort Zone

Change means many things to people. It means stepping beyond the comfort zone and into the unknown. The comfort zone is that place where you are accustomed it may or may not actually be comfortable; you can be miserable but avoid change because at least you know what to expect within the confines of where you are now. In order to transform, you need to be willing to take a chance to learn something new. You need to be open to possibilities other than what you are accustomed and know that you will grow and become stronger in the process. This new learning experience will expand your comfort zone offering you increased personal freedom.

Change

What does change mean to you? How do you cope when placed in a situation where something needs to change and that something is you? Change isn’t always bad. In fact, usually, the change results in better things. Often the fear of change is really the fear of not knowing whats around the other side of the change.

If change connotes fear for you, start noticing how the fear impacts you. Recognizing the fear where it comes from and what it feels like – is an important part of moving forward. Embrace the feeling; don’t ignore it. But as you embrace it, ask yourself how the fear serves you? What is it you’re really afraid of?

Change means responsibility. Change starts with accepting responsibility for where you are right now, knowing that you have the ability to take your life from where it is and create what you really want. Responsibility starts with an increased awareness of the way things are, the way you are. Not the way you think they are but the way they really are. Two things are required for initiating change, openness and willingness an openness to a deeper understanding of what can be possible and a willingness to let go of the way it is and what has come before. In order to transform, you must focus on the vision you hold for the future instead of how it has been in the past or even where it is today. It means getting clear about what you want and the vision you see for yourself, then making a commitment to make it happen.

Change also means excitement, challenge and opportunity. Being open for possibilities means creating a life beyond what you can think of today. It means that there are no limits to how wonderful life can become if you are open to receive that which the world has to offer. Keep the focus on what you want your life to look like and stop putting up with people or things that get in the way of your dream. Identify the source of those obstacles and eliminate them. Remember, you are responsible for your life and its course. Stop getting in your own way! Right now, this minute, you have the power to change your life. Make the commitment to no longer accept mediocrity and you have taken the first step.

Moving forward

Initiating change can be done in small increments a small shift in thinking, attitude and actions can create dramatic results in helping you change the course of your life. Believe that you can create a better life and visualize yourself there. What will it feel like on your new path? What you think about most of the time, you bring about. You can choose what you think about. Don’t focus on what has to change, rather think about what it is you want that vision you have for your future – and you will naturally move in that direction. Immerse yourself in thinking about your new vision. Create a picture, collage or write about your vision and post it where you can see it regularly.

Some changes are inevitable, like the changing of the seasons and the passing of time. You have a choice over how you experience these events. You can perceive them as a rich part of the wonders of life or as an unfortunate interruption of your routine. People who have difficulty accepting the passing of the years are often the ones who are not fully living. It is from this lack that they fear the loss of time. And yet, they have the power to choose a different experience.

Getting Ready

What needs to happen for you to be ready to change course in life? What lessons are presenting themselves to you right now that you must learn in order to move forward? What needs to happen for you to accept responsibility for creating and embarking on a new path? Be honest about where you are and where you want to be. Years have a way of slipping by. If you are not ready now, then identify what you need to learn in order to move forward. Wake up! Your life is waiting.

Adapted from: Family Health Alliance

Mergers Bring Out Fear

Mergers, one of the biggest reorganization challenges, bring major stress. Companies that merge usually started out as competitors. You thought of the other company as them and your company as us. Now youre being asked to redefine your us to include them. This is not as simple as it sounds. The selection of new department heads and work areas sometimes brings surprise, fear and unhappiness. You fear the new system will need fewer employees to run it. You see former bosses get passed over for someone in the new company. Your feelings of job security are at an all-time low.

Change Isnt Easy

Most people dont react well to change, particularly in large doses. Change is hard for you to accept if you didnt initiate it, dont understand it, or dont approve of it; but once management decides to make a change, rarely does balking help. Your best bet is probably to modify your attitude and accept change.

Management Tasks

Changes are passed down from top management to be implemented by department managers to their employees. If youre a manager, find out as much as you can about why the change is being instituted and how other managers are handling it. Figure out what role youll have in the change. Will you need to sell the idea to your employees? Will you need to provide technical assistance? Will you be the liaison between your employees and the various departments involved? Will you be given the task of developing an effective model for the change? By getting a clear picture of your specific tasks, youll be better able to assist in the change.

You can also help your staff deal with their fears by keeping them up to date on the changes which will occur. Understand their insecurities and hesitancies. Its your job to help them see how the change will affect them positively. If theres no direct benefit to your staff, you may be able to focus on a broad goal toward which theyre working. Ask for their cooperation and give them positive feedback. If you continue to meet resistance, deal with each problem separately and directly. Try to answer all questions honestly. Then, after the change has been implemented, assess its success and look for ways to fine-tune it.

Employee Tasks

Your role as an employee is vital in the companys reorganization. You can assist by acknowledging the need for change, thus making the transitional period go more smoothly. Let the change work to your advantage by using it as an opportunity to showcase your skills and adaptability. Work with your boss to understand the change more clearly. If you have fears, ask questions. See how you can help expedite the change and show that youre willing to invest the energy to make things go smoothly. Demonstrate that you are a team player.

Getting Help in Adjusting

If you find that, after a period of about two to three months, youre still having problems adjusting to the reorganization, talk to your supervisor, human resources department or employee assistance program. As an employee or supervisor, you have the opportunity to grow and change with your company. By accepting change and being a good team player, you can boost your future in the company.

Corporate downsizing not only impacts those who have lost their jobs, but it affects the survivors as well. Too many times, management operates under the misconception that those who have retained their jobs should be grateful and relieved. This is a myth. Survivors often have as many negative feelings as those who were laid off. Confusion, anxiety, stress, victimization, grief, mistrust, apathy and hostility are common feelings for the remaining staff. Survivors keenly observe how their former co-workers were treated in the downsizing process. The survivors investment in the company and the rebuilding phase will be impacted by his/her perception of how the company handled the layoff. Survivors are key to the future success of the organization. Recovery from a downsizing event takes time but a planned, well-managed process will ensure a more favorable outcome with an eventual increase in productivity and morale. The following are some things to consider as you plan for the needs of layoff survivors.

Phase 1: During the Layoff and Immediately After

The most effective way to cut through the rumor-mill, which may perpetuate negative beliefs, is to provide frequent, direct, honest communication with the remaining staff. If more layoffs are expected to occur, it is better to be upfront and honest. Management should be visibly available to staff during this time. Communication should be both formal and informal. Talk to staff- find out what their thoughts and feelings are but don’t try to solve their problems-you cannot! Survivors are grieving for lost co-workers, feeling guilty that they were not cut and are distrustful of the company. The only way to assist them is to acknowledge that their feelings are valid, re-emphasize the necessity for the downsizing and speak positively about the plans and vision for the future.

Phase 2: First Few Weeks After the Layoff

Management should continue to be empathetic to survivors feelings of anxiety, uncertainty and mistrust. Begin to express hopeful information about the company and its future. Clearly articulate and document the reasons for the reduction in the workforce. Allow survivors to have their period of mourning and expect that their productivity will be impacted. Instruct workers on what to say if calls come in for former co-workers and tell them how those business calls should be redirected.

Phase 3: Rebuild

Now it is time to begin rebuilding your workforce and rejuvenate teams. Identify new leaders who could be mentored. Redistribute work fairly trying not to overwhelm your remaining workforce with the feeling that if they refuse to do the job of multiple people, they will be the next to go. Schedule team building or training activities to help survivors understand their role in the organization. Understand that some workers will be cautious about giving their all to the company, especially when they have seen competent, productive co-workers lose their jobs. No longer does good performance guarantee retention. Some workers react by becoming very rigid about their job descriptions and are unwilling to do anything extra. It may take these workers more time to learn to trust in the organization.

Review the personnel file for each employee affected by the layoff. Determine if any of these employees has a history of violence, outbursts, etc. If so, plan to have on-site security on notification day.

Fully understand the companys reasons for the downsizing and how these particular employees were chosen.

Review your anticipated feelings. Talk with others about your feelings regarding the layoffs and of being a notifier. This can help you to establish some level of comfort with this difficult task. Don’t avoid your own feelings as this can lead to coming across as cold and insensitive in the meeting.

Recognize that it is neither your fault nor the employees fault that he is being laid off.

Plan your meeting. Organize your thoughts and outline the major points. The more prepared you are, the more effective the meeting will be. Rehearse your response to various questions or reactions. Have the telephone numbers available for key resources such as security, human resources, EAP, occupational health, etc.

The Notification Meeting

Establish the tone of the meeting and stay focused. The goal of this meeting is to break the news while allowing the employee to maintain self-esteem.

Speak deliberately and calmly, allowing pauses for the employee to interject his reaction. Listen to and acknowledge the employees feelings. Be direct but empathetic. Show concern while remaining professional.

Explain the rationale by which employees were selected in a simple, direct manner. Stay calm and do not become defensive. Don’t engage in an argument over the correctness of the decision.

Expect disbelief, anger, shock and tears. Don’t try to change these feelings for the employee during this meeting. Efforts at this may only serve to escalate the frustration level. Acknowledge the employees feelings and be sympathetic to his situation.

Watch the employees body language to see if she is listening.Is there eye contact? Does she seem agitated? If you do not feel that the employee has comprehended the central message, repeat it.

Provide the facts about the benefits that will be available for the employee such as severance, medical benefits, outplacement, and EAP support services. Provide all of this information in written form, as the employee may not be able to absorb it at this time. The employee will need to review the materials over the next several days.

Employees who ask reality-based questions about the available services and about their benefits are showing signs of acceptance. Employees who do not do this may be in the denial phase and may be more likely to react with anger and/or violence. Take note of each persons reactions during the notification meeting and during any subsequent contacts.

Focus on the positive aspects of the employees future. Encourage use of the available services that have been provided by the company.

If appropriate, close the notification meeting with an offer to have the out-placement and/or EAP contact the employee at home. Be sure to notify these services if they need to make this call to the employee.

After a Downsizing

Whenever possible, employees should have advance notice of the impending downsizing, the rationale, the timing and the process by which decision-making would occur. Provide opportunities for communication by scheduling meetings with small or large groups, allowing time to answer questions. Too little information will encourage rumors, which often produce more anger and frustration.

Have follow-up meetings with employees after the layoffs have been announced restating the rationale for the downsizing. Managers need to be available to their employees during this time to show support and curtail rumors. There may be a tendency to want to avoid victims during this period but avoiding staff can make them feel more isolated and rejected.

Reach out to higher performers. This employee group can be at the greatest risk of leaving the organization following a downsizing. If possible, involve them in the changes and acknowledge their importance. These employees can have a positive influence on more vulnerable workers.

Prepare employees for the recovery period after any significant change in workforce. Make it clear that you understand there will be a period of adjustment and that you will be there for support.

Often after layoffs, workers may need to be reassigned or entire departments may be reorganized. Allow time for the remaining employees to vent their feelings while keeping focused on moving forward.

The remaining employees will react to how the downsizing was handled and if they feel the company was fair and compassionate to their former coworkers. If the process was perceived as being fair, then old tensions can be overcome and new connections to the organization can be formed. If the downsizing is not handled effectively, the remaining employees may become divisive and resentful, creating an atmosphere of hostility.

Do not promise that downsizing will never happen again. This can generate suspicion and mistrust.

Individual managers cannot provide the entire resolution to the feelings and issues created by downsizing. By showing concern yet remaining professional, you can help rebuild trust and promote teamwork with the remaining employees. How the company handles a downsizing becomes a powerful message about how much they value its workforce.

Types of Tardy People

• Perfectionist - Spends too much time on non-essential details
• Wanderer - Unfocused and gets easily diverted off track
• Procrastinator - Avoids tasks until the last minute
• Indifferent – Disregards other peoples time or significance
• Performer - Over-schedules and thrives on the drama it creates
• Blamer - Denies responsibility for chronic tardiness

How to Break the Lateness Habit

• Commit to changing – Make a genuine commitment to value punctuality and arrive on time, every time.
• Watch the clock – Calculate the actual amount of time a task requires, factor in extra time for the unexpected, and schedule accordingly.
• Avoid doing one last thing – If you are ready to leave, just leave. Don’t start a new task or stop to answer the phone as you are running out the door.
• Always arrive early – Plan to arrive at least 15 minutes early and then use any wait time to review, read, or just relax.
• Get organized – A place for everything and everything in its place truly can save time and prevent last minute scrambling.

Escaping from the tardy trap is not just about getting to places on schedule; it’s about honoring commitments, gaining control of yourself and gaining control of your life. Those who overcome habitual lateness often find that this new habit has a positive impact on relationships, professional opportunities, and personal growth.

Long-Term Plans

Long-term plans cover any project that will take longer than a week and outline what you expect to happen in the next 3 months to a year.

• Define your objective – This is the first step in long-term planning. Do you want to increase your customer base by 50%? Do you want to manufacture 5 million parts?
• Determine necessary resources – Next, you must determine what you need in terms of material and human resources to achieve your objective.
• Assign responsibility – If you have others working for you, you must determine who is capable and has the time to work on the project.
• Outline steps – Delineate the steps needed to accomplish your goal. How long will each step take?
• Establish measuring tools – You’ll need to set up a process to measure your progress along the way. Will employees report to you once a week, once a month?

Short-Term Plans

Short-term plans cover what you hope to achieve in the next week or on a day-by-day basis.

• Daily calendars are helpful in outlining what needs to be done each day. Make a list of tasks to accomplish and prioritize them in order of importance. When you get side-tracked, go back to your list and re-assess what needs to get done before you leave work. Move any unfinished items to the next days to-do list.
• Weekly plans can be written up on Friday for the next week. It may be helpful to share your weekly plan with other employees, especially if you’ll be unavailable on certain days.

Remember planning is crucial to achieving your work goals, but so is flexibility. Unexpected delays, problems, or personnel changes may require you to reassess your goals and alter your plans.

Improve Leadership Skills

You may already be a supervisor, or you may wish to become one. In order to be an effective supervisor, you will need to have leadership skills. Courage, a positive attitude, effective communication and a vision of your role in the company’s future are important components of leadership. Leaders demonstrate courage by taking considered risks. Leaders motivate their staff to perform well. Leaders consider themselves part of a team and they want group, as well as individual, success. They develop the skills and abilities of their staff, are open to suggestions and change, accept challenges and deal with problems. It may be possible to find a mentor to assist you in developing your leadership skills.

You and Your Boss

Your own growth in the company is in good measure determined by the relationship you have with your boss. Start on the right track with your boss by being a willing pupil. Listen to advice, learn from your mistakes and accept constructive criticism. Understand your assignments and seek solutions for problems as they occur. Some management consultants feel that if you don’t see your boss as a role model or he doesn’t communicate openly, then you may be better off in a different division or company.

Seize the Opportunity

Top performers set clear goals, seek tangible results, are good team players, handle difficult tasks successfully and not only accept, but expect, change. They develop their strengths and dont mourn their weaknesses.

Take advantage of opportunities to increase your job and leadership skills, and enhance your creativity. Challenge yourself, and take risks. This may be hard, but it is essential if you want to grow. Learning new skills and challenging yourself to complete the job faster or more creatively will satisfy you satisfied by a job well done. It’s nice to receive rewards such as a raise, a pat on the back or an appreciative comment from your boss; but if those are your only motivation, you’ll eventually be unhappy.

If you need help in attaining your goals, speak to your manager, the human resources department, the education and development department or your employee assistance program.