Tips On Blended Families
Because of the high divorce rate and number of remarriages, blended families are very common. While these family arrangements come with many challenges, they can usually be overcome with a lot of patience, understanding, and know-how. Following the suggestions below can help minimize the confusion that accompanies the merging of two families.
- Be Realistic — Many times stepparents want to make the transition to mommy or daddy too quickly. Remember that the stepchildren may not now or ever view the stepparent as a legitimate parent. It’s best to try to establish a friendship based on mutual respect and appreciation. Also remember that the stepchildren may still be grieving from their parents divorce and may have a lot of anger and resentment. If you take it slowly, you have a better chance of forging a close relationship.
- Establish Rules Early On — Chances are the members of the newly formed family will come from homes with varying customs, expectations, and disciplinary styles. The adults need to discuss and agree upon how the family will function before the move-in date. Often times, its best for the biological parent to discipline his or her own children. Be cautious of favoring your own children over your stepchildren as this will create hostility and competition among the stepsiblings.
- Be Positive — There is no doubt that blended families have their inherent difficulties. But instead of dwelling on the challenges, why not emphasize the positive? One benefit is family members get to share their various customs and rituals. In addition, there is the opportunity to form lasting and loving relationships between stepparent and stepchild and between stepsiblings.
If conflicts emerge early on, it may be a good idea to get some professional family counseling. It’s important that every family member, including the children, get to express their feelings and have them acknowledged. While not every blended family will resemble the Brady Bunch, a new close knit, happy, healthy family is within reach.
