One of the most difficult challenges of our busy lives is finding the right balance between caring for yourself and caring for others. Women in particular often neglect their own needs in service to their children, their spouses, and their community. On the other hand, focusing entirely on yourself will likely result in loneliness and a lack of fulfillment.

Fulfilling Your Own Needs

In order to find the right balance, you should first examine how well you’re meeting your own physical and emotional needs. Answer the following questions.

Physical

• Do you eat three, well-balanced meals a day?
• Do you avoid excessive use of caffeine, drugs and alcohol?
• Do you take time out to exercise each week?
• Do you get a yearly check-up?

Emotional

• Do you set aside quiet time to read, relax or meditate?
• Do you communicate your feelings to people close to you?
• Do you engage in religious or spiritual activities?

If you have a hard time answering “yes” to these questions, it’s time to scale back on your outside commitments and refocus your attention inward.

Fulfilling Others Needs

While it’s important to tend to yourself, reaching out to others is what gives meaning and fulfillment to life. Out of necessity we usually care for our children’s physical and emotional needs, but what about others in the community? Here are some ways you can reach out to people beyond your immediate circle.

Community Service

• Become an active member of your church, synagogue or mosque.
• Take time to listen to a co-worker whos going through a difficult time.
• Volunteer at your child’s school or local Y.
• Stay in touch with local and world events so you can be an informed citizen.

It may be helpful to keep a journal of your activities for a few weeks so you can objectively see how much time you’re devoting to self and to others. Then you can make minor adjustments until you’re back in balance. Remember to stay flexible-as life’s circumstances change, you may need to readjust your priorities.