With 50 percent of all marriages ending in divorce, it’s important to know how to survive a breakup. It can be especially devastating for children, so you should also tend to their needs. Here are some helpful tips on getting your family through this challenging time.

• Allow yourself to grieve – Although you may be feeling a lot of anger toward your former spouse, you are also experiencing tremendous loss. You are losing a spouse and a live-in parent for your children. Find a counselor or other adult to share your feelings with. Don’t burden your children with your anger or frustration. It is all right to say that you feel their loss too.
• Encourage your children to talk about their feelings – Children will grieve and often blame themselves for the divorce. It’s crucial that you get your children to communicate what they’re feeling and reassure them that they are not responsible. Very young children may not know how to express their feelings, so you can ask them to draw or act out their emotions. You can also use books about divorce and ask your children how the characters may be feeling.
• Learn how to co-parent – As much as you may dislike your former spouse, you must cooperate on parenting your children. It’s best to agree on custody and visitation issues amongst yourselves or with a counselor or social worker. Be civil with your ex when the children are around. Never bad mouth your former spouse or use your children as pawns. Your children deserve to have two involved, caring parents even if you are no longer married.
• Take time to nurture yourself – Divorce can be mentally and physically draining. Be sure to schedule some relaxing time for yourself. Start an exercise routine if you don’t have one already. Spend some leisure time with your children. Don’t forget that they need to continue to have fun with friends and family.
• Find new friends – Often times mutual friends will take sides during a divorce. Now is the time to branch out and find some new friends. Join a support group such as Parents Without Partners or a group at your church or temple. However, you don’t want to rush into another serious romantic relationship or marriage. Take time to adjust to your new circumstances.

Remember that, no matter how badly you feel now, you will heal in time. Divorce can be the impetus for emotional and spiritual growth. It is important to remind your children frequently that both parents will always love them and be there to support them.