Self-Esteem Building Game

Have your child sit facing you, look into her eyes and ask her to tell you why she is a terrific person. Your child will hopefully respond by saying, “I’m terrific because…” for as long as she can keep going. Then switch roles and tell your child why you are terrific. Remember that parents with high self-esteem know how to build self-esteem in their children naturally, but this exercise will stimulate thinking by both parties. After you both have taken a turn, talk about it. How was it to hear those positive things about yourself? How was it to say those positive things about yourself? Was it difficult? Almost everybody enjoys listening to the wonderful adjectives the other person uses, but many are uncomfortable saying the things which are refreshing to hear. They have learned they shouldn’t brag or boast, but it really is okay to say good things about yourself.

Talk about Ways to Defuse Assaults to Self-Esteem

• Make a neutral remark. Say “Oh,” or “I see,” and leave it at that.
• Disagree. Realize that what they are saying is just their opinion, and you know better!
• Call a friend and vent to them!
• Confront gently. If a put-down hurts you, say “ouch” or “That’s not fair.”
• Ask “What do you mean by that?” which throws the responsibility back on the insult-giver and invites calm discussion.
• Leave. No one wants to be around those who are nasty or cruel, but be careful not to get in the habit of running away from your problems.
• Consider the source. Some people seem to wallow in negativity, so know their constant negativity has little to do with you.
• Use humor. A quick witty response can often diffuse the situation.
• Don’t take it personally. Maybe the person is having a bad day and the put-down has nothing to do with you. Instead of reacting, try to see what lies behind the barb.
• Use positive self-talk. Repeat, “No matter what you say or do to me, I am a worthwhile person.”
• Visualize yourself surrounded by a shieldan invisible bubble of protection. That way, no negative comments can penetrate.
• Give yourself a hug by hugging your child!
• Wearing a special piece of clothing or jewelry that has personal meaning can be a source of strength and power.
• Give permission to be different which helps those who are teased about clothes or hairstyles. Remind your children that they are unique and don’t have to act and dress like everyone else.

Through these various strategies, and the great ones which you will develop on your own, you should be able to help your children feel good about themselves and increase the positive energy in this world!