The growing number of stepfamilies in the United States has brought with it new challenges for both parents and children. The merging families often have different histories, beliefs and traditions. Children are not only dealing with the separation of their parents, but must also accept and understand the role of a stepparent. In addition, the newly wedded adults often don’t have time alone to adjust to one another. Despite all the inherent difficulties, stepfamilies can and do work if enough time and attention are paid to the following areas:

• Fostering new relationships between parents, stepparents, stepchildren, and stepsiblings
• Maintaining original parent-child relationships
• Acknowledging and mourning each others losses
• Developing new skills in making decisions as a family

To accomplish these actions, stepfamilies may need guidance and support from clergy, extended family members, and counselors. Professional help should be sought if any of the following situations develop:

• A child feels torn between two parents or two households.

• A child is very uncomfortable with any member of the original family or stepfamily.

• A child directs anger upon or openly resents a stepparent, parent or stepsibling.

• One of the parents suffers from great stress and is unable to cope with a childs’ needs.

• A stepparent or parent openly favors one of the children.

• Discipline is left to only the parent rather than involving both the parent and stepparent.

• Family members no longer enjoy normally pleasurable activities like going to school, working or being with friends.

Parents need to pay close attention to the actions of their children since often the children won’t or can’t talk about their feelings as a result of a changing family structure. A counselor can help the child learn to express his emotions and deal with his new family members. Most stepfamilies, given the necessary time and skills to work on developing their own traditions and relationships, can provide emotionally rich and lasting relationships as well as strong bonding with all involved.