When a parent decides to remarry, it can be a difficult transition for the children, especially if the newlywed is the custodial mom or dad. Children will often feel jealous and insecure in the new family arrangement. It’s important to take things slowly and make sure the new roles and responsibilities of all family members are clearly spelled out.

Form Friendships First

Stepparents should not try to become instant moms or dads to their stepchildren. Friendship and mutual respect should be the primary goal of the relationship. If the other parent is out of the picture completely, the child may decide in time to view and treat the stepparent as mom or dad.

Communicate Roles

It can become confusing for a child to suddenly have two moms or two dads. Make sure your child knows the roles both their biological parent and stepparent will play. A stepparent should never try to replace the real dad or mom.

Be Sympathetic

It’s important to understand the feelings children may experience when their parents remarry. Children may act out because they feel jealous of the new adult in their lives. They may also feel that their role in the family is now threatened. In other children, a remarriage may crush their hopes that the biological parents will eventually get back together.

Focus On the Positive

Children will often dwell on the fact that their family is different from their friends families. However, make it clear that every family is unique and emphasize the positive aspects of your blended family. A stepparent may bring to the family new fun traditions or holiday rituals. A stepparent may also raise the family’s income, which will allow a higher standard of living.

Seek Help From the Professionals

Use age-appropriate books on divorce and remarriage to help children deal with their emotions. If necessary, have the family talk to a professional counselor or therapist who can help everyone adjust to the new dynamics of the blended family. Make sure the child isn’t singled out as having a problem the family needs to work together.

With the high number of divorces and remarriages in the United States, it’s increasingly common for children to live with a stepparent at some point in their childhood. To promote a healthy, happy family, it is crucial for adults to be sensitive to their childrens emotional needs and communicate clearly how each member will function within the family unit.