One of the most difficult challenges of our busy lives is finding the right balance between caring for yourself and caring for others. Women in particular often neglect their own needs in service to their children, their spouses, and their community. On the other hand, focusing entirely on yourself will likely result in loneliness and a lack of fulfillment.

Fulfilling Your Own Needs

In order to find the right balance, you should first examine how well you’re meeting your own physical and emotional needs. Answer the following questions.

Physical

• Do you eat three, well-balanced meals a day?
• Do you avoid excessive use of caffeine, drugs and alcohol?
• Do you take time out to exercise each week?
• Do you get a yearly check-up?

Emotional

• Do you set aside quiet time to read, relax or meditate?
• Do you communicate your feelings to people close to you?
• Do you engage in religious or spiritual activities?

If you have a hard time answering “yes” to these questions, it’s time to scale back on your outside commitments and refocus your attention inward.

Fulfilling Others Needs

While it’s important to tend to yourself, reaching out to others is what gives meaning and fulfillment to life. Out of necessity we usually care for our children’s physical and emotional needs, but what about others in the community? Here are some ways you can reach out to people beyond your immediate circle.

Community Service

• Become an active member of your church, synagogue or mosque.
• Take time to listen to a co-worker whos going through a difficult time.
• Volunteer at your child’s school or local Y.
• Stay in touch with local and world events so you can be an informed citizen.

It may be helpful to keep a journal of your activities for a few weeks so you can objectively see how much time you’re devoting to self and to others. Then you can make minor adjustments until you’re back in balance. Remember to stay flexible-as life’s circumstances change, you may need to readjust your priorities.

Taking the First Step

Once you decide that you want to believe in yourself, you’ve taken the first step. Awareness is the first step to achieving harmony and acceptance. Consider the following statements and note your strengths and weaknesses:

• I believe that I am a good person.
• I am able to express my feelings.
• I appreciate my body and take proper care of it.
• I see challenges as chances for growth.
• I am creating circumstances that support my personal worth.
• I create and enjoy intimate relationships.
• I believe that life offers abundance to me.
• I know my needs and how to meet them.
• I am establishing the life I want.
• I have faith in my own abilities and resources.
• I participate in meaningful activities.

Awareness is the first step to achieving harmony and acceptance. Continue the process of discovery by deciding if you can accept yourself as you are now or if there are things that you need to work on.

Make a List

You are unique and special. Make a list of what you like about yourself, all your positive qualities, the things you do well. Spend time every day reviewing your list. Focus on the positive. Tell yourself that you can live up to your potential. By discovering yourself, who you are and your positive qualities, you will learn to love yourself. Discovery is the beginning to the creation of a fulfilling life.

How you see yourself as a person forms your self-esteem and affects the choices you make in life. Although the opinions of your family and friends, your appearance, your abilities and talents all influence your self-esteem, you can do more than anyone to support yourself and your view of yourself. To become your own best friend try to:

• Not dwell on past mistakes–just recognize them, correct them, and move on without blaming yourself
• Associate with people who are supportive of you and avoid those who constantly put you down
• Work towards a healthy lifestyle by exercising and making healthy food choices
• Accept new challenges by becoming more of a risk-taker, allowing yourself to work through anxieties and self-imposed limitations
• Listen to your own thoughts and cut out any negative self-talk; concentrate on giving yourself positive affirmations
• Recognize your talents and accomplishments and allow yourself to feel proud of them
• Express your views, but respect other opinions also
• Allow yourself rest, recreation, and quiet time and know that you deserve it
• Set reasonable goals for yourself and congratulate yourself when you achieve them

By becoming your own ardent advocate, your increased self-esteem will be evident to all!

• State the exact nature of the problem.
• Determine what needs to happen during the session for it to be successful.
• Set a time limit and allow 5 minutes for an introduction and 10 minutes for a summary.
• Ask each participant to present at least 2 ideas.
• Ban criticism of ideas.
• Encourage free-wheeling and combining or improving on ideas.
• Assign people to follow up on their ideas if necessary.
• Announce how the results of the brainstorming session will be used.
• Communicate the results of the session to others if appropriate.

It’s important to remember that the end results of a brainstorming session should be a large quantity of diverse ideas. No one person should be allowed to dominate the meeting. By encouraging everyone to participate, you will likely come up with new and better solutions to your companys’ challenges.