How Do You See Yourself?

Your self-esteem is determined by how you view yourself and the value you place on yourself. If you’re proud of your accomplishments, value your intelligence, and believe in your own actions, you have a good sense of self-esteem. However, if you’re not happy with aspects of yourself and want to feel better, here are some ways to help raise your self-esteem.

Listen to Yourself

We all have an internal voice that carries on a mental dialogue throughout the day. What are you saying to yourself? Do you treat yourself with respect or does your internal voice put you down or call you names?Practice listening to the things you say mentally about yourself and replace any negative thoughts with positive comments. This is an important first step toward a more positive self-image.

Value Your Accomplishments

You may not be famous or a prizewinner, but your accomplishments have value to you or others. Make a list of them, no matter how small they might seem. By recognizing them, you can begin to value yourself and understand that you are important and worthy.

Say What You Mean

You may already respect what other people have to say, but you also have a right to be heard. Learn to be assertive. Say what you mean and practice clear communication.

Spend Time with Good Friends

People you surround yourself with are often mirrors of how you feel about yourself. Don’t socialize with people who put you down. Choose your friends wisely. Spend time with the people who respect and value you and listen to what they say about you.

Nobody’s Perfect

Don’t be hard on yourself. Aim for accomplishment rather than perfection. Don’t assume that others are critical of you and try not to criticize yourself or others. Be tolerant and recognize that mistakes are common and normal. Don’t dwell on them.

How You Can Boost Your Attitude

Understanding the voices in your head can have positive results if you know how to listen. Most people carry on a steady mental dialogue throughout the day. This is called self-talk, and your thoughts and actions are directly affected by it. While negative thoughts can lead to stress and poor outcomes, positive thoughts can keep your outlook upbeat and help you to be successful.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Self-talk is very much like a self-fulfilling prophecy. A self-fulfilling prophecy happens when you think about an outcome in a certain way so much that you actually make it occur (or not). Often your self-talk reflects your upbringing and the self-esteem you have as an adult. When your self-talk is positive, “I know I can do the job,” you are encouraging yourself to succeed and, chances are, you will. When your self-talk is negative, “I’m not smart enough to be a supervisor,” you’re giving up on yourself and chances are, you won’t even try.

Best Friend or Worst Enemy

You can be your own best friend or worst enemy, depending on your self-talk. If you think you can get the job, you will be more likely to apply and show confidence in yourself, giving you a chance at success. But if you say to yourself, I’ll never get hired for that job, you probably won’t apply, guaranteeing that you won’t get the position.

Effects on Body and Mind

Emotional distress can be created by self-talk that is negative. It can also influence you to behave in self-destructive ways (No one cares, so why shouldn’t I smoke?). Positive self-talk can have the opposite effect, leading to more success and happiness.

Change Your Responses

You can learn to rewrite your self-talk script. One good way is to use pencil and paper to note your automatic self-talk responses. List several things you would like to happen (buy a new car, try for that promotion). Then, close your eyes, listen to your reactions to each item, and write them down (I can probably get a loan, I’m not sure I can do the job). For the negative responses, write down a thought that is positive (I can learn that job with some extra effort). Practice positive self-talk and you will be more confident and optimistic.